REMEMBERING COVID WITH GIRL SPROUT!
(Follow at https://www.instagram.com/pamela_flitton)
Even in Covid Time RHS member
Daphne Hart liked to eat, which led, that chilly May 2020 morning, to her
discovering the gigantic Brussel Sprout that dominated Farm Boy’s mostly
modest-sized spout selection. But
cooking that sprout would have been tantamount to cannibalism and so, inspired
by Mr. Potato Head, Daphne coaxed the exquisite Girl Sprout into existence.
But once Sprout was suitably garbed and
settled into her comfortable life, she developed a huge ego and a sense of
entitlement that led to dreams of future grandeur. What Sprout required to finance and otherwise
enable her dreams was sponsors, which is how the Lysol and Bacardi companies
became fixtures in her life.
By then Daphne had transmogrified into Pamela Flitton, and it fell to Pam to arrange Sprout’s activities, outings and visits, some quite grand. Early on, and thanks to the notorious Orange Prez, she even segued into the politics of pseudo-science.
But before we tell that story, we should explain why Sprout's early Covid experiences led to her developing truly robust self-regard and confidence. No soon had she adapted to her uneatable new persona was Girl Sprout crowned Miss Gigantic Brussels Sprout 2020! What can a Girl Sprout think if not: 'Bacardi, welcome to my parlour!'
Obviously Bacardi is for celebrating Sprout's victories, beginning with her career as a Beautiful Brussels Sprout, but what's with Lysol? Oh! That's because the folks at Lysol wanted Sprout to use her soaring popularity to counter advice from the Orange Prez about imbibing disinfectants. Remember?
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Girl
Sprout Hosts Boys Only Tea Party at Balmoral in a salute to Queen Victoria and
her love of menfolk
Lysol truly needed Sprout to proclaim its message: "We must be clear that under no circumstance should our disinfectant products be administered into the human body through injection, ingestion or any other route."
Lysol and its rivals were flying off the shelves as people disinfected their homes, up by 93% by March 2020 over March 2019. A month after the Orange Prez’s recommendations, accidental poisonings soared again. Just imagine, if you can bear to, how much higher the death toll could have been had Sprout not been such an effective advocate of “Sip Bacardi not Lysol!
On the home front, Sprout had her own issues to deal with. When she braved the outside world to take the
sun in the park, she received a ticket from a bylaw officer for violating Covid
rules! “Even though I brought my own
chair, they still fined me!” she lamented, and sought comfort in renowned poet
Olive Senior’s poem C for Cherry Blossoms.
Sickness blooms. Parks and gardens are closed to us.
This
year, we cannot witness
the
splendour of the blossoming cherry trees.
What
is sad is that the cherry trees couldn’t care less.
Without
us, they will still bloom and show off
Their splendiferous
dress.
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| What's with the City Parks? I brought my own chair and still got a ticket. Bummer! |
A more urgent issue was that even Gigantic Sprouts shrivel and dry out when exposed to air, and so every night Pam was forced to confine Sprout to the fridge for R & R - and survival.
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“She says it for my own good,” Sprout confided to tea party guests, “but the condiments aren’t very friendly and it’s really quite chilly.”
And survive she did, to host lovely Christmas feasts, tea parties and just cozy afternoons with friends.
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During a Girls Only gabfest generously oiled by
Bacardi, Girl Sprout and Wonder Woman struggle to identify this apparatus.
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Thanks to sponsors Bacardi Mojito and Real Mica Christmas Snow, Girl Sprout and Lego Batman celebrate with turkey, toys and tunes from the Cone Troll Trio (above) and (below) Sprout presides over a family wedding!
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| Sometimes Sprout just relaxes alone, in solitary solitude |
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| Sometimes Sprout cheats with whisky, until she remembers Bacardi |
But, just like good times, all bad times come to an end, and so did Girl Sprout’s life under Cvid. Lysol’s sales once again reflect pre-pandemic cleanliness needs, lending urgency to Sprout’s publicity outreach to boost sales. Yet she is keen to add another sponsor to her roster, and is now patiently waiting for Foodland Ontario to return her call in response to her green feelers to them.
Communication with her beloved Bacardi, still
gurgling with strong sales, remains constant as Sprout is now developing Bats
Fly at Night Bacardi Cocktail Hour, a television series.
“I
predict Girl Sprout will go from strength to strength,” declares Pam Flitton,
“because she’s single-minded and aggressive, and the recipes she’s developing
for Bacardi are simply exquisite.
Needless to say, Bacardi is totally satisfied with their green
sponsee!”
Backstage with Daphne Hart aka Pamela Flitton
RHS:
I am so curious! How did Sprout survive
so long? I find Brussel sprouts dry out within days, even without
clothing!
DH
aka PF, nodding: I used different ones when she dried up. One sprout lasted sixteen days, though like
Girl Sprout, had to spend a good deal of time in the fridge.
RHS: Where on earth did you acquire the teeny items she wears and uses?
DH aka PF: I’ve collected teeny
things over the years, things for my grandchildren to play with at the cottage.
I have a type case on my wall and it’s full of that stuff. I acquired a post-war Youngstown Kitchens salesman’s
design kit containing a metal kitchen unit, miniatures of everything in the
kitchen including the appliances. I
bought a doll house and things to furnish it, so I have a tiny world at my
disposal, everything from mini liquor bottles and little carpets to a baby in a
highchair. I also have things from
magazines – Balmoral, for example.
RHS: My last and most pressing question: how on
earth did you manage to conceive and create such an intricate character as Girl
Sprout?
DH aka PF: I graduated in
graphic design in art school in London, UK, and the Girl Sprout project, which
lasted from May 6 to 19th, 2020, was very fun, very absorbing. It was also tremendously time consuming. Each scene took hours and hours of time and
concentration. My experience as an art director at ad agency taught me that you
have to keep working looking at it because it could always be better.
RHS: And Sprout?
How has she taken to the end of Covid-as-it-was?
DH aka PF: Just like anybody else, she’s forgotten about
it, and I haven’t brought it back.